I Think Some Lawyer Was a Little Excited...

And for a supplement to my recent post, below is the lengthy notice in the copy of Hedda Gabler I have [with my comments bracketed]. Some lawyer went a little overboard. To be clear, this is an adaptation of a public domain play:

"All rights reserved [Except fair use, right?]. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means [oops], including information storage and retrieval systems [tricked ya, Google!], without permission in writing from the publisher, except by a reviewer, who may quote brief passages in a review [wouldn't want to anger them]. Any members of educational institutions wishing to photocopy part or all of the work for classroom use, or publishers who would like to obtain permission to include the work in an anthology, should send their inquiries to Grove/Atlantic, Inc., 841 Broadway, New York, NY 10003. [We like to remain backwards in all regards, so no email address will be provided]

CAUTION: Professionals or amateurs [everyone?] are hereby warned that Hedda Gabler, as adapted by Jon Robin Baitz, is subject to a royalty ["warned", indeed]. It is fully protected under the copyright laws of the United States, Canada, the United Kingdom, and all British Commonwealth countries [shucks, there goes my South African production]; in all countries covered by the International Copyright Union, the Pan-American Copyright Convention, the Universal Copyright Convention, and the Berne Convention; and in all countries with which the United States has reciprocal copyright relations ["the world" would have been shorter...]. All rights, including professional, amateur, motion picture, recitation, public reading, radio broadcasting, television, video or sound taping, all other forms of mechanical or electronic reproduction, such as information storage and retrieval systems and photocopying, and rights of translation into foreign languages, are strictly reserved [basically, don't think about doing anything but buying this play and filing it on your shelf. Opening it might prove illegal]. In its present form the play is dedicated to the reading public only [well, at least he dedicated it to us, not his parents or something].

By the way, I am writing to the address to see if they charge me to make copies for my "educational institution" (read: blog).